No You Are Not Sorry [Best Alternatives to Sorry]

Hello Advanced English Learners! Mary Daphne here, this is where we come together to boost your fluency, confidence, and clarity in English.

Sorry is one of the most overused words in the English language. And not because people are apologizing left and right, it’s because sorry gets used when it shouldn’t. Meaning, it gets used even when someone is not apologizing.

Someone bumps into you while you’re waiting on line for movie tickets: You say “sorry!”

Your best friend mixed up the dates for your coffee catch-up: You say “sorry!”

Your landlady says you need to fix the leak in the ceiling: You say “sorry!”

Your partner thinks you’re overreacting to something they said: You say “sorry!”

This is not the appropriate usage of sorry. Native English speakers do this all the time and it’s what we call over-apologizing.

In this lesson, we are going to run through alternatives to sorry so that you can use sorry only for when you are apologizing to someone or showing empathy toward them. 

Here are the alternatives to sorry that you can use:

Silly me!/Clumsy me

It’s putting the responsibility on you and you are taking accountability for your actions. For example, if you broke a coffee mug by mistake, you could say “Silly me, the mug just slipped out of my hand. I’ll Venmo you to cover the cost.” Or let’s say you spilled coffee on someone’s shirt you could say “Clumsy me! I’ll dry clean your shirt for you.” So say silly me or clumsy me and offer to cover the cost or replace the item.

Oh gosh!/Oh goodness

Similar to the above, you can use this for the times you need to hold yourself accountable for something. Saying “Oh gosh I forgot about our appointment!” or “Oh my goodness, I lost the book you lent me. I’ll buy you a new copy.”   

Oops/Whoops

Oh whoops, or oops is a good word for when you make a little mistake. For example, “Whoops, I forgot to make pumpkin bread today! I’ll make it tomorrow instead.” But you could also use it as a subtle way of pointing out a slight issue and making a request to fix it. For example, “Ops, the heat isn’t on. Do you think we could turn it on, it’s freezing in here.” 

My bad

You might hear American English speakers say “my bad.” This is slang and typically a casual way to say that you slipped up. Maybe you forgot something, maybe you lost something, either way, you are owning up to this error on your part. You are recognizing that you are to blame and are taking responsibility. For example: “My bad. I totally blanked on our lunch date today. Let me make it up to you by treating you to dinner tonight if you’re free.” Or maybe you knock someone’s grocery bag over by mistake, you can say “my bad, didn’t see your bag there.” Use this phrase only in casual settings among close friends as it wouldn't be appropriate in a professional context.  

Excuse me (‘scuse me)

I love this one because it can be used as a way to politely interrupt a conversation but also to explain a social faux-pas (also known as a social no-no). For example, “Excuse me, I’d like to add to that point.” or “Excuse me, but I disagree with that statement, and here’s why.” With a slightly different intonation “Excuse me” where you elongate the “Excuse” part of that phrase to point out a social faux-pas. “Excuse me, but no one gave me the memo to wear a hat to this wedding.” Right so in that case, it might’ve been a wedding in France, where traditionally you might wear a hat if the wedding is during the day. And lastly, you might say “Excuse me” if someone is standing in your way and you need to get by. So unless you’re pointing out a social no-no you wouldn’t pronounce the “E” it would be “scuse me.”  

Pardon me/pardon/I beg your pardon 

This is a great phrase to use when you didn’t hear or understand what someone said and you’d like them to repeat it. “Pardon, could you repeat that?” Or, “I beg your pardon, what did you say I dozed off for a minute there.” or “Pardon me, I missed that.” or “Pardon me, I didn’t catch that.”  This is quite formal and very polite, so you’d use this in professional settings like at work.

Coming through/on your right/on your left

This is when you’re on a bike or walking quickly and you need to alert the other people around you. For example, you might also say “on your right” if you're running and you are passing some pedestrians on their right. Or if you’re biking, you might say “on your left” to alert the runners that you are biking past them on their left-hand side so they’re aware.

So there you have it, Advanced English learners, seven different ways of saying sorry. Remember, to avoid over-apologizing, save “sorry” for when you need to apologize, commiserate with someone, or show empathy. Other than that use the alternatives we discussed :) 

Now that I’ve shared the strategies, can you think of other alternatives to sorry for when you make a mistake and want to own up to it? Share that with me and the Advanced English community in the comments down below.

Thanks so much for joining me. Don’t forget to smash that like button, subscribe and turn on notifications so that you don’t miss any of our lessons or livestreams.  I’ll see you in the next one!

Bye for now 😊

About the Author and the Explearning Academy:

Mary Daphne is an expert in communication, executive skills and professional development. She is the founder of the Explearning Academy, a platform dedicated to helping individuals enhance their social fluency, boost their careers, and elevate their social game. Through immersive group coaching programs like the Executive Communication Lab and self-guided journeys, participants gain the social superpowers and career catapults they've been searching for. If you're ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level and connect with like-minded individuals, visit academy.explearning.co and explore the various plans available. Join the Explearning Academy community and unlock your full potential.

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