What are soft skills?

• Abstract
• Not easy to teach
• Not black and white, but the grey area
• Subjective
• Context-dependent

Empathy

• Ability to feel what another person is feeling
• Understanding someone’s point of view, feelings, perspective
• Ability to step into someone else’s shoes
• Spend a few moments seeing things from their perspective
• Being able to relate to how someone is thinking or feeling

How to get empathy?

• Put yourself in someone else’s shoes
• Try to understand what someone is feeling
• Help them label the emotion
• Help them understand what brought on these feelings or emotions
• Asking questions is a good way to understand how someone is feeling
• Don’t judge or weigh in with your opinion
• Get them to talk about the way they are feeling

How to practice empathy?

• Have meaningful conversations with people
• Withhold judgment from your conversations
• Practice asking questions
• Practice listening carefully and wholeheartedly

How do empathetic people behave?

• They are non-judgmental
• They are not giving their opinions
• They are not giving advice (you should have …)
• They listen attentively
• They try to understand the other person

Human Connection

• Being able to have a conversation with someone
• Building a bond with someone
• Building rapport with someone

How to get the human connection skill?

• Engaging in social interaction
• Engaging in interactions that take place in person or virtually
• Focusing on the person
• Being empathetic
• Feeling a connection with someone by relating to their story, emotions, or something they describe
• Bring up things that are relatable
• When people relate to you, there is a shared-minded perspective

How to practice this skill of Human Connection?

• Coming up with points that are relevant to someone
• Being relatable to someone (through stories, emotions, etc.)
• Pay attention to the nonverbal cues someone is giving
• Reading their emotions and understanding their nonverbal cues
• Reading their facial expressions
• Reading their tone of voice
• Using stories, anecdotes, examples to help people see through narrative (to generate a sense of connection with someone)

How do people with the Human Connection skill behave?

• Engage with people easily, regardless of how well they know the person
• They read the room, they read their expressions
• Using stories to build a connection with them

Active Listening

• Needed to be a good communicator
• speaking is only half the equation of a good communicator, we need listening
• demonstrates you care about the person
• nodding
• leaning into the conversation
• using discourse markers like “ah, hmm, right, yes..” 

How to get this skill of Active Listening?

• Listen attentively
• Pay attention to what a person is saying and how they are saying it
• Be present
• Choose to be in the situation so you’re focused on what's going on there
• Don't focus on the past or future
• Commit to the moment and to the person you’re talking to

How do people with Active Listening behave?

• Very attentive
• Very observant
• They don't talk too much about themselves
• Laser-focused on the person
• Ask about you and how you’re doing

Nonverbal Communication

• 55% of the meaning we convey is through nonverbal communication
• It’s not just what we say but how we say it

How to get this skill of Nonverbal Communication?

• Become more aware of body language
• Become cognizant of your gestures and facial expressions
• Being aware of your expressiveness

How to practice this skill of Nonverbal Communication?

• Record yourself to see what facial expressions you are making to see yourself
• You can’t really see yourself until you’ve filmed yourself
• You’ll have a better understanding of what your body does as you talk
• Look at the prevalent gestures and facial expressions in the culture whose language you are learning/speaking (i.e., American gestures) and incorporate them into your communication
• familiarize yourself with the expressions and use them

How do people who have the Nonverbal Communication skill behave?

• Being in charge of their gestures
• Matching the gesture to the appropriate words and tone of the communication situation
• They have mastered their facial expressions

Flexibility and Adaptability

• Opposite of what AI can do
• A basic “human” skill
• Understanding complex situations and acting accordingly

How to get this skill of Flexibility and Adaptability?

• Have a bigger picture sense of what is going on
• Having an understanding perspective of the situation

How to practice this skill of Flexibility and Adaptability?

• Put yourself in situations where you know you are going to be uncomfortable
• Seek out challenging situations that will force you to adapt and get used to unfamiliar situations
• You will develop the ability to adapt and learn to cope with a set of unfamiliar circumstances
• Get out of the comfort zone

How do people with Flexibility and Adaptability behave?

• Really good at problem-solving
• Good at critical thinking
• Come up with a creative solution to a problem and seek to benefit many people from the solution

Soft skills are the hardest skills to develop but they are also high in demand. Developing these skills will make you a better candidate for jobs and also a better communicator with richer and deeper social interactions. Practice these skills often and pay attention to people who have these skills, by observing their behavior and communication styles. 

See you in the next Advanced English lesson!

About the Author and the Explearning Academy:

Mary Daphne is an expert in communication, executive skills and professional development. She is the founder of the Explearning Academy, a platform dedicated to helping individuals enhance their social fluency, boost their careers, and elevate their social game. Through immersive group coaching programs like the Executive Communication Lab and self-guided journeys, participants gain the social superpowers and career catapults they've been searching for. If you're ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level and connect with like-minded individuals, visit academy.explearning.co and explore the various plans available. Join the Explearning Academy community and unlock your full potential.

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